Waiting.

[Homer runs out the clock sitting in anticiaption of the waiting period for his gun to be over.]

Waiting, for most of us, is synonymous with anxiety, fear, impatience, nail-biting, and in some instances, long bouts of drinking. Most of the time, waiting is innocuous: we wait for the train or the bus; we wait for our tank to fill up; we wait for our food to get to the table; we wait for the next drink in our waiting-driven drinking bout. 

But there's another kind of waiting--a terrible kind, a kind that makes our nails bleed, our minds race, and our family want to pack up and leave: waiting for the diagnosis; waiting for word from an interview; waiting for acceptance letters; waiting for the plane to land/take off; waiting for the LSAT score.

If you find yourslef in the second instance of waiting, you are likely experiencing a temporary madness. The space between your ears is packed with "what ifs" regarding the past and the future in equal parts: What courses of action could you have taken to improve/prevent the outcome you're waiting for? What will the outcome mean for your future? 

This is insane behavior. Why is this insane behavior? Because these questions are based on mere speculations and anxious feelings--on events that haven't even happened--events you have no control over in the present moment. Some people will say that fretting during the waiting period is just a way to strategize for all of the possible outcomes or is a way to learn from mistakes that (might) have been made. 

Bullshit. Strategizing for possible outcomes takes no more than 5 minutes; at most, a day.

Possible Outcomes: Got a 177. vs. Didn't get a 177.

Strategies: Go to Harvard. vs. Retake or apply to other law schools.

Possible Outcomes: Frank doesn't have leukemia. vs. Frank has leukemia.

Strategies: Go to Six Flags to celebrate life. vs. Go to Six Flags to celebrate life.

See how simple that is? "Strategizing" in times of powerlessness is just a clever ruse to justify the comfort of worry.  

What is most neglected while waiting is the present moment. For example, the time between LSAT test day and LSAT score day is a great time to party, exercise, make out, write, ride horses...really, it's time to do ANYTHING OTHER THAN THINK ABOUT THE LSAT. That test has taken up so much time already; continuing to think about it--when it's impossible to do anything about it--is an enormous waste of present moments (something that we will now call "presents"). 

There's not much more to say about this. You know as well as I that sitting around counting presents in anticipation of some future thing is tantamount to waiting for Spring to get your groove on. Groove, already!

While you're waiting for next week's post, see if you can count ten inhalations in a row.